Afternoon Stroll

It's a Thursday afternoon. I am here drifting along the rocky coast. I am quite amazed to see rocks actually. The wind and currents has removed all the sand that was masking them.
The wind is blowing onshore moving the dry sargassum along the coastline, then it rushes through my hair sending cool chills along the pathway that maps the thoughts in my head. I am thinking of rain! It has been two months and three weeks without rain. The sun is not too harsh on my peanut butter skin, however, it is shimmering on choppy waves and glistening on broken sea glass discarded across the bay.

M is getting pleasure from rubbing her body in the sand. She doesn't feel like fetching today as I toss the ball into the sea. She barks at the sky and run around in circles. She's wandered off - returning with a fetid coconut in her jaws.

AOO 220514

Rewriting Retraining Rediscovering Begins and Ends with Me

Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to Blame. Erica Jong


So about two months ago or so, I was given an ultimatum. However, after contemplating the ultimatum I realized it was not for me but for the person who gave it to me. No love lost. This person well he's a wonderful person. For me to get pass this I had to put things in their correct order. I realized that we saw something that we both desired, we didn't have to argue about it. You do yours and I do mine. We were on the same road with a fork up ahead, then at some point we will come back together. We had different priorities; it neither make it right nor wrong: Just Different!

There was a protest between my heart and my mind. Feelings and Rationale. Everything he said to me that he didn't want it was what I allowed him to give me. Then something within me popped and I found the power to say 'No.' No more. So I am going through this healing self rediscovery process. I allowed myself to become angry. Anger was my fuel. It was that voice I had to listen to, I respected it and it map my way through by showing me what my boundaries are. My anger was meant to be acted upon and I did it.

 Then I prayed and took the responsibility of what I prayed for. I was unblocked and it scared me, really did. I was taking a risk, retraining myself in the unknown, and slowly I took my step toward Him, and He in return took more steps towards me and He helped me through my rationale. My friend SSA always said to me 'you ignore the things that you need to pay attention to pertaining your life. You care for your children, your household and others but you need to pay more attention to your inner voice.' I finally did!

I allowed myself to be sabotaged by my shame and was afraid of embarrassment. On this sojourn shameful things were brought to light, that opened the cellars of my being. Then I continue my self detective work and found that my self growth has been so erratic that each time I took a step forward I fell behind by 4 steps. Then I applied the modus operandi. When I was training for athletics, there was the warm up session, the hard training and he cool down. "Easy accomplishes it" I practiced been kind to myself; I threw myself a life line and I saved myself. I Saved Myself!

I took it in strides thirty - sixty - ninety…PR was the one who gave me those rule over a year ago and they are in application.

Summarizing: I often short changed myself and become starved and then feeling myself perish just because I wanted to fulfill my emotional needs (which isn't wrong but misapplied) when the fulfilling stuff doesn't come with it I was left in a situation and then I had to compromise. With this compromising  it was more like emotional prostitution. So I am paying more attention to myself so much so that he who was giving me the attention took it away saying 'I took him for granted; make a choice between so and so. Your change is not a positive change all that good stuff' I realized that I know longer sold myself short; My Change was for Myself despite how others saw it!

So Temporary success may set us for awhile; but is it substantial?

Andrea O.

A day before Full Moon (Nature)

The moon like a flower
In heavens high bower
With silent delight
Sits and smiles on the night...
by William Blake

Under the moonlit sky the surf runs amongst the rocks. Tempted for a swim, yet I would not go in. The grainy sand sinks from the weight of my footsteps leaving imprints on the coral floor. Brown seaweed lies dead across the beach. Cool crisp breezes blow with soothing sprays. Out in the channel the lights flicker,
green...red...white

I should shed my clothes and in my nakedness enter into the ocean; my solace is there.

I stand on the shoreline, while the moon plays hide and seek with the clouds. The languid water crawls to my feet teases and pulls back...

I want to submerge, but the wind kisses me through my garments and beckons me to stay. The moon shine ripples of crystal on the ocean, then sending his softness on the rocks that guards the bay. There in the bosom of nature I stand, white suds created from the light rolls.

Lightning! A quick whip of light lit the clouds in the left. I've not observed the ring around the moon just yet so hopefully no rain...

Stars are falling from the sky, one, two...

While the shore answers yes to the waves, my body answers to the thought of getting wet from streamlet of ocean kisses.

AOP

Rocky Haven (Observation)

Surf play in the rocks. Gurgling sounds in crescendo and diminuendo when the surf retreats to the ocean floor. Chiming crickets and whistling frogs alarm the night. Stars! Galaxies! Reflect in small pools in the rocks. White surf splashes light through thickness of the night. Clouds scarce in the vastness of the sky. Moon, I can't seem to find that half sleeping moon, but I am inspired by the constant dazzling constellations.

White breakers beat against rocks. A satellite blinking across the sky interrupting natures charm, it has red light signals. It appears to be taking a reading. A major distraction!
Back to the stars and the surf. The sky bleeds darkness into the ocean and the stars becomes the surf and the surf rise to the sky and become stars. The ocean in its majesty roaringly claps on the rocks.  Sometimes the ocean resembles soothing yet lamenting cries. Crickets pluck, frogs exhale, but the ocean drowns their sounds when its surging in.

My retreat, ah; the crickets and frogs are wondrous violinists.

Fluffy pillows of clouds cover some of the stars ; a thick white blanket was suddenly spread across the sky drawing a close to the starry night; yet patches of stars peak through tiny spying holes to let in a flicker of light.  The sky cries little translucent beads of rain. The surroundings have become inhospitable .

Poem Inspired

Dos D'ane Pond

Narrow winding tracks

Clouds covering hills

Cascading water over cliffs

Carving chasms.

Welcome Home

Gazing through the aeroplane window as it descends over the pristine island of St. Kitts... taking memory shots with the view finder of my eyes and storing them in my mind's memory bank. The peaks of Nevis jutted behind the hills of Bird Rock...

As I exited the craft, a waft of fresh crisp breeze greeted me, complimented with warm tender kisses from SK sun...

I journeyed to the country side, evoking childhood memories as I gazed at the Mount Liamuiga.... and the surroundings. Dense patches of tamarind trees draped with its fruits and mango tress bedecked with blossoms. Coconut trees extending their necks to the gleaming sky.

I arrived to my destination... the country side; Grove Village, the yard. The breeze was dancing across my face; the fragrance of ripe guavas and mangoes were teasing my sense of taste, the ripened custard apples punctuated the medley. 

Birds weaved from trees to trees with remnants of dry grass to construct their homes. I observed keenly as they teamwork to add their straws.

The fence, was dressed in vibrant green which was spotted with white flowers with purple protrusions and frills. There were wax green and yellow fruits of bells. The bees danced from flower to flower...

Its amazing, when you are welcome home.

I retired for the night with the symphonic tunes from the night's orchestra. The band of crickets and whistling frogs. The light drumming of raindrops on the roof; shuffling from the breeze in the trees.

At the crack of dawn I was awaken by the boisterous clamour from the cocks and the early gossiping of the hens. I stepped outside, the soft grass tickled my toes and rubbed against my ankles. A friendly mosquito stopped by and gave me a french kiss on my leg. In the east, the rolling hills seemed ablaze with fire from the rising sun.  Mount Liamuiga appeared to be removing her fluffy hat and welcoming the warm hugs from the sun. The breeze slanted through the leaves; tree lizards exposed as they observed their surroundings.

It was just another day in paradise....complimented with  a visit from Reets! 

Living in the Moment

Living in the moment, learning from the past; paving the way today for today. As today is already the past and the future.